In the Bible – in its entirety from Genesis to Revelation – we are given a “synopsis” of the definition of love truly is. I don’t believe we are ever going to have a completed understanding of what the Bible calls love this side of heaven but in Yeshua through the Spirit of God we have been given it, we know its reality and those times of experiencing its power personally.
In this discussion let’s take a peek at the aspect of this love towards others outside family relationships – although of course many aspects will also be application to those contexts. Various Scriptures may be considered but for our purposes now let’s home in on I Corinthians 13 and in particular verses 4-8a, as a key portion of that synopsis.
May the Lord Yeshua enable us to look unflinchingly at this challenging portion of the Holy Scripture and may the Holy Spirit ‘unpack’ it for each of us that we may be rightly instructed built up in The Faith.
1 Corinthians 13
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body [a]to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [b]puffed up;
5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [c]thinks no evil;
6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.
9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is [d]perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Let’s begin by considering some things the world tends to say about its idea of “love.”
Any of the statements below sound familiar?
- I love you because you love me…otherwise I’m outta here.
- I need to love you.
- I can’t live without your love.
- I love all that this person is.
- I love you because you make me feel good.
- I love you because you complete me.
- I feel like I really love [fill in the blank].
What’s wrong this?
- It’s all about ME.
- It’s dependant on how I feel.
- It’s conditional.
- It depends on ‘me.’
Since Lord Yeshua makes in clear (and the Bible teaches us throughout) that without Him, we can do nothing (John 15:5), can we expect the world, who do not have the Lord, to give us ‘the truth’ about what love is?
What do we say about love?
Personal Exercise:
On a piece of paper, write down in brief what you think love is. You can be completely honest because it’s just for you – you don’t have to show it to anyone you. Once you have finished, put it aside.
Is it possible that we, who were once ‘of the world’, still carry some of the worldly definitions and understanding in us? Could we even have picked these up again along the way in our walk as believers?
What are some of those potential pitfalls, traps, and hindrances we can and do fall into at time? Some which came to mind were:
Wrong Expectations – sometimes our expectations are just unreal.
This can happen when we fail to love people where they are at now rather than where we, rightly or wrongly, want/expect them to be.
Sometimes it’s about the expectation we have for ourselves. When we find ourselves saying things like, “I don’t feel loved” – it may be just possible that we may need to ask ourselves whether it has become about ‘ME’, about my expectation for me. May the Lord Yeshua help us to remember that people are never going to be what only God can be and help us not to expect them to be. There are times when 1 Corinthians 13:4-6 can be so painful to read:
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [b]puffed up;
5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [c]thinks no evil;
6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Don’t worry though – that pain is only the flesh in us realising it needs to do some dying!
Evaluating people by worldly standards – different politics, different socio-economic brackets, different intellectual capabilities, different culture – even a different dress-sense! It happens – sadly.
If we know in our hearts of hearts that this is dwelling in us, may we by the grace of God acknowledge it to God and get it dealt with. We cannot afford to tolerate this in ourselves under any ‘label’ or any other farce. This is not how God evaluates people and therefore nothing of this could ever come from His Spirit. When we pause and consider the cross of Yeshua it becomes clearer and clearer that His cross is a leveller – we are all sinners and those of us saved were saved by grace through faith and any who are not need to be (see Ephesians 2:1-5;8-9).
Falling for worldly ‘psycho-babble’ – there’s plenty about, mainly revolving around ‘self’.
We know the types, e.g. ‘I don’t know how to love because [……. fill in the blank ] happen to me’ or ‘I need to build up my self esteem before I can love others.’ Really? Thankfully, we can cut all of that out by paying attention to what the Spirit of God teaches us through the Scriptures rather than listening to the world, the flesh (our old nature) or the devil. One Scripture that came to mind when I was thinking on this is Colossians 2:9-10:
‘8 Beware lest anyone [e]cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ. 9 For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead [f]bodily; 10 and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all [g]principality and power.’
The whole of the letter to the Colossians is powerfully edifying for this issue, don’t you find?
Forgetting wrong conduct towards others speaks louder than “right words” – it really does!
The way we are with one another and amongst one often speak louder than our words – and will either affirm what we say or, if not, take away from what we want our words to convey. A very special person once said to me in a gentle rebuke, ‘Sometimes we don’t sound to others the way we think we do.’ Ouch – but true and needful at that time! Our conduct reveals to others where we really are at.
When our conduct is not right towards others – what is it that we are being convicted of? (Hopefully, we are!) Could it be that it is that we are not walking in love? We consider why this is so important further below.
Not bringing inward wrestling in relationships to the Lord – that is, in honest prayer.
We all experience the wrestle between the Spirit and our flesh (Galatians 5:17) at times and until we acknowledge the reality of struggling to walk in the victory of Lord Yeshua in our flesh’s negative response to another person we will be ensnared. At the very least it will be ‘a hook’ which remains in us for the enemy of our souls to trouble us in various ways.
In a personal struggle of my own, I was led through the Scriptures to see what the issue was and what needed to happen for it to be fixed. How clearly I was enabled to see my need in this particular areas and situation to seek God through Lord Yeshua for grace to help me! How thankful I was for enabling to know and believe the exhortation and promise at Hebrews 4:16. From verse14-16 we read:
‘14 Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Yeshua the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.’
Which potential pitfalls, traps and hindrances came to your mind?
What does the Bible say about love?
Could a lifetime even begin to fully give the answer which is encapsulated in Lord Yeshua the Messiah and who is?
Each time you come across of biblical definition of love, if we are seeking the Lord to grow our understanding, capacity and practice of His love, the Spirit of God will show us the many ‘portraits’ of this. Before we look at the ultimate ‘portrait’ let’s consider 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a again. You may find it helpful to do a bit of research on some of the wording used here to describe love in practice. Here are a few I found:
suffers long and is kind (1 Cor 13:4a) (my emphasis)
Isn’t it the truth that we can often “do” ‘long suffering’ and we can “do” ‘kind’ – it’s just the doing them together that’s sometimes the problem!
The emphasis on the ‘and’ is therefore an important one. It’s not difficult to become bitter, resentful, and quite hateful in long suffering. But to remain under suffering for a long period of time or an ongoing situation and be kind – how highly would we/do we score here?
What is it to be ‘kind’?
to be “considerate and generous” – this speaks of attitude, or
“to be useful, beneficial” – this speaks of acts of kindness
does not envy (1 Cor 13:4b)
The word used here is ‘zeloo’ (zay la o) which in its origin means ‘an envious and contentious rivalry, jealousy’ (Heartlight – Online New Testament Greek Lexicon)
does not parade itself, is not puffed up (1 Cor 13:4c)
does not act in such a way as to boast one’s self.
not given to a self display, using/relying on added extras calculated to persuade another to ‘your greatness.’
does not behave rudely (1 Cor 13:5)
it does not behave in an offensively impolite way nor is it bad mannered; it is not abrupt.
does not seek its own (1 Cor 13:5)
it is not self-seeking.
is not provoked (1 Cor 13:5)
not stirred up to anger & annoyance
thinks no evil (1 Cor 13:5)
‘keeps not accounts of evil’ or ‘keeps no records of wrongs’
bears all things (1 Cor 13:7)
to carry someone or something
to support a weight
to be patient with
believes all things (1 Cor 13:7)
has faith, trusts in
hopes all things (1 Cor 13:7)
trusts, expects
endures all things (1 Cor 13:7)
suffers something unpleasant and prolonged patiently
remains in existence
Love never fails (1 Cor 13:8a)
‘Agape’ the Greek word translated as ‘love’ carried with it a multi-layered definition which does not seem to be captured by the English word ‘love’. One particularly helpful definition in respect to our discussion here is that it ‘involves faithfulness, commitment, and an act of the will’ (see Got Questions website – https://www.gotquestions.org/agape-love.html)
What did your study bring?
And so – now what?
Perhaps two possible paths before us at this juncture are:
The wrong approach – namely “now I know what do to, I’ll get along by my own fine”.
Really?
Everything that we have looked at so far should have made it clear that it is impossible to produce love in and of ourselves. I doubt you did but just in case you missed it – the HUGE clue is at 1 Cor 13:8a. We and all that comes from us will fail as some point – even the most rock-steady love relationships we have in this world. We will find we fail, very often, very quickly with this approach! Even following the biblical approach we will fail. We are never going to be perfect this side of heaven – and trying to be can bring a lot more problems!
A biblical approach – Yeshua The More Excellent Way
Why?
Consider:
- Yeshua is The Way (The 3-point emphasis – mine)
- Remember John 15:5? – Consider that verse:
- “I am the vine, you are the branches, He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”
- Yeshua is the Way. Why?
- Think of Who is Yeshua – God – God is love (1 John 4:8)
- Think of Who is in us as believers – God the Father, Yeshua the Son of God and the Holy Spirit of God.
- John 14:23 – ‘Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him.”
- Ephesians 4:6 – ‘one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.’
- Colossians 1:27 ‘… Christ in you, the hope of glory.’
- Think of by what means God is in us – by His Spirit
- John 14:17 ‘“the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.”’;
- 1 Corinthians 6:19 – ‘..do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?’
- What is the Fruit of the Spirit?
- Galatians 5:22-23a – ‘But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.’
- What does this mean – “the fruit of the Spirit”?
- Naturally flowing from His presence and work in us.
I came to see a bit more clearly that this is why walking in love is so important and so for me, which path to take became clear.
Concluding thoughts
As intimated above its one thing knowing but the will of God is to both know and do (James 1:22). Thank God for His grace to help us.
In one of the many occasions of confessing my own struggle with walking in love and walking in grace at times to God and asking His grace to help me, I sensed the following being impressed upon my heart:
“Love is the top-coat of grace” – when I am lacking in grace, it is because I am lacking in love, when I am lacking in love, it is because I am are lacking in grace. Therefore it is not dependant on whether the recipient has earned it or deserves it or has asked for it.
On another occasion of struggle, as I sought the Lord in prayer I was wonderfully helped by the answer laid upon my heart which was Romans 8:13:
13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
I came to see afresh that if I live by how I felt at that time I will die (shrivel up spiritually and be spiritually dry and barren) but if I walk in the light of this truth at Romans 8:13, I will through the Spirit live and He will produce His fruit me, for me and through me.! I saw afresh that sin resides in the flesh, not the Spirit. I saw that I am to learn, and continually learn, to exercise my will in obedience to the commandment to love and prayerfully entrust those feelings and emotions – or lack thereof – which are being controlled by my flesh/old nature rather than the Spirit of God to Almighty God, my heavenly Father.
God is love and there is only one way through which this is demonstrated. Yeshua. It has always been about Yeshua. It will always be about Yeshua. Yeshua is the more excellent Way.
Take out the bit of paper you put aside have a quick look at it again.
No need to say anything to anyone – except privately to the Lord?
May you be enabled to accurately discern the answer from the Spirit of God and know the shalom of Yeshua.
God bless you as you continue on in the race of faith.
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