Acts 26:18 – “..to open their eyes, in order to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who are sanctified by faith in Me.”
The following is the testimony of Yvonne McCann of London, England of how Almighty God worked in her life by His grace to bring her ‘from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, that [she]..receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who are sanctified by faith’ in Lord Yeshua the Messiah, Son of the living God.
Yvonne, how long have you been saved?
I grew up feeling a very close connection to God and at 14 years old I thought I would be a nun. I didn’t understand then though, the actual meaning of “saved” and would date my real knowledge of God’s salvation to April 2008 when I was in my early forties.
In your own words, what does “saved” mean and where in the Scripture do you derive your understanding?
It is believing on Jesus who died on the cross as the living sinless sacrifice for us, taking the wrath of God for our sins, that He was buried and rose again on the third day, all in accordance with the scriptures(1 Corinthians 15). This to me means I can do nothing of myself to ever be “good” enough to spend eternity with God and rely completely on how Jesus saved me from separation from God and an eternity in hell by His work alone. This is the redemptive plan of God for us.
Yvonne’s background
Can you share with us about your family background?
I was born in London, to Irish parents who were practising Catholics and we went to church every Sunday. I attended a Catholic school and made my communion and confirmation with full belief in the God who had created me. I loved God throughout my childhood even thinking at age 14, I would like to be a nun and be silent, always in adoration and prayer to Him. I had a children’s bible and really enjoyed reading the stories of how God worked in people’s lives. I have one brother who is 10 years older than me, so he had grown up and moved away through most of my childhood and one sister, 5 years older who also left by the age of eighteen. They left faith once they moved away from home and though my sister says she has a belief in God she is wary of religion. I tell her this is a good thing as a born-again believer does not “do” religion either(!) and have shared the gospel with her and what it means to have a relationship with Christ. She however was made to feel unworthy as a child by our mother and spent years feeling too unworthy to even pray to God but would pray to angels instead.
Our childhood was marred by my parents drinking and there would be daily rows where my dad would be aggressive towards my mother and at times violent. It was during these times that my faith was at its strongest because I could feel peace when I prayed and told God all of my concerns. My sister sadly became involved in drugs and was back and forth to the family home and it seemed one issue after another caused upset in the house due to her behaviour from drugs. My dad stayed in Ireland working for lengthy periods of time when this all occurred.
I didn’t discuss my faith with my sister or my mother as a young person. As I approached sixteen years old, I saw my parents’ faith and the Catholic faith as a hypocritical religion that was far from what I thought faith in God should look like. I was really disgusted that my parents would go to church and then into the club that joined it to drink, then drive home and argue. I felt I had a personal relationship with God separate from the Catholic teachings. I remember my grandmother once calling me a fisherwoman (a big insult in the Irish home) because I would wear an arran jumper and jeans to church and me shouting at her that God was glad to see me in church and would not mind even if I was naked!!! I truly believed this because I felt I had a close relationship with Him and knew He loved me. What I did not understand was what Jesus had done for me! I knew He had died on the cross and it was to do with sin as church and school briefly taught this, but I had never been told we are born into sin.
I believed we had to be as good as we could be (i.e. salvation by our own works) and believe in God and His creation and then He would let us into heaven. I stopped going to the Catholic Church and started on a path of seeking spirituality elsewhere. I read new age books and dabbled in all the mystic things which come with it. I took tarot card courses, saw mediums, clairvoyants, crystal healers, etc, all the time, thinking this would make me a more spiritual person. I wanted to hear about ways in which I could prove there is an afterlife and how this could help people to come to faith in God. I spent about 20 years in this lifestyle, had my two children and worked from home as a childminder. I had no idea that this type of “spirituality seeking” is an abomination to God as I had not read the scriptures nor really understood what God desires for us and of us.
Can you remember when you first heard the Gospel and became conscious of it? What were you told? What impact did that have on you? Where were you in life at that time? What was happening?
God is really amazing. He allowed me to go down my path of alternative spiritual ways until He brought it to a halt! A Christian book shop opened in the village of shops near my home, and I passed it every day taking my foster boy to school. I went in and bought a book on drawing closer to God and couldn’t put it down, in I went again and again. I was now a single parent as I had separated from my partner after being in a relationship with him for thirteen years. I became friends with the lady who ran the bookshop and she explained she felt God had told her to open the shop and I went to church with her a couple of times. Strangely enough the shop closed down after 6 months and I lost touch with the lady. I still hadn’t fully heard the gospel or talked about Jesus and thought my faith was my relationship with God. Then something strange happened.
I had been trying to trace a friend of my ex-partner because this friend wrote and sang songs and when I had separated with my partner, a cassette I had of these wore out as I played three songs in particular over and over again. These songs had got me through the separation, and I wanted another copy. One day there was a knock at my door and it was this friend of my ex-partner and his wife! He wanted to know whether the house was for sale, which it was as my landlady was selling it and so they came in for a viewing. He saw the books I had and asked who was reading them. When I told him that I was reading them he asked whether I was a Christian. I wasn’t even sure that I was and told him my beliefs. He told me God was definitely drawing me to Him and we spent the whole time talking about God while his wife looked round the house, which they bought six weeks later.
Yvonne’s Journey to Faith
What was your journey to saving faith from then on? How did God work in your life to bring you to the light of the saving knowledge and salvation of Lord Yeshua the Messiah?
After the house sold, being then without a home, I had to move back to my childhood home while still fostering and driving into Barnet from Edgware [Ed. both in London, England] every day to drop my young foster boy to school. They started a bible study group there which I attended, and it was here that I was brought to the saving knowledge of what Jesus had done by His sacrifice on the cross, and how God had planned this right from the very beginning after the fall of Adam in the garden.
This was all new to me and made such sense of why Jesus did what He did. I have so much to be grateful for from this Christian man and his wife. They mentored me, they kept on with the bible study group and advised on a non-denominational church I could join, which was nearby my home. At this church I learned more deeply about the message of God’s grace. I recall that we studied Galatians 2:20 which really helped me understand how Christ living in me is how I am able to live in this crazy world. [Ed. Galatians 2:20 says ‘I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me’]. It’s His faith that has saved me, it’s His life that keeps me and I tell myself if I would only move out of the way a bit and let Him do His will through me, He could use me so much more!
I was baptised at this church and as I am a shy person I didn’t want to speak in front of everyone but as I was standing with the elder at the front of the church, I had to whisper to him that actually I felt I had to say something. I only remember saying that our God is a nagging God as He would not stop nudging me to speak and even though I didn’t want to, I felt I had to be obedient! This is how I know God was, is and always will be working in my life. I was able to give up smoking easily, through prayer, I read my bible enthusiastically, I joined another bible study group with the church and learned so much. I could ask simple questions without feeling self-conscious, like why did Jesus say, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” (Matthew 27:46; Mark 15:34) and received good biblical teaching. I became involved in Sunday school ministry for the young children and had a spiritually fulfilled life with this church.
I grew bolder in talking about my faith. I told friends who had joined me in the new age activities that that way of spiritual development did nothing to satisfy you. I explained that once you had a relationship with God and understood why Jesus did what He did, you had such a sense of peace and fulfilment that you looked for nothing else! One friend became a believer and others distanced themselves. I could not watch the drivel on television and spent my time watching bible teachers on YouTube and reading Christian books. I was blessed when my own daughter gave her life to Christ (not through my faith, but through a church play group where they gave bible study)
God blessed us with the opportunity to go to Israel and we had an excellent Christian tour guide who brought the bible to life.
When did the assurance of salvation come? When did you know you were saved? Can you describe how that felt?
I think it changed from head knowledge to heart knowledge whilst on a high street one day when I just knew that I was saved. I was just thinking about God and how amazing His redemption plan is in its simplicity and non-expectation of man, when I just had a certainty of my salvation that was almost laughable. I rang the man who had first introduced me to Christ and said I just had to tell him how amazing it is when you “KNOW that you KNOW, that YOU know!!!!” You know that God has you! No doubts.
It was an understanding that Jesus had swapped my grossness with His righteousness and that even though I, as a human was still gross, God saw my spirit in the same way He sees Jesus’ Spirit. It felt freeing. I could see myself as still so deceitful, so ready to make excuses for my weakness and so easily angered but still God loved me, loved me so much as it says at John 3:16. Here, Lord Jesus says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” It was humbling to know that as bad as I was, God would still call me His child, and this strengthens me to repent and acknowledge I am God’s work in progress.
In your own words what is repentance and its connection with salvation?
To me repentance is when we turn 180 degrees away from sin and turn towards God instead. It is a change of heart and life regarding sin where, although we still sin because we have a sinful nature, but we are not happy to stay in that sin and feel remorse and want to seek God’s forgiveness. Repenting of our sin is acknowledging that we need God’s grace and He gives that to us as a gift.
From Then to Now
Since then, can you share a little bit about how the Lord Yeshua has worked in your life?
My walk with God gave me a feeling of security where I felt all that I needed came from Him. I had stayed single since the separation from my children’s father and though I had a good male friend I did not feel the desire to make this a romantic relationship. My only interest was what did God want me to do, and I explored the idea of opening a retreat centre from my house in Ireland. The pastor, his wife and another elder from my church at the time accompanied me over to Ireland and plans were drawn up to build this centre through funds that the church would accumulate. I offered the deeds of my house to the pastor, but he said it was unnecessary, that the centre could be a joint venture and to wait and see how we proceeded with it. As time went on however I grew uncomfortable with the direction that pastor’s teaching seemed to be heading. One day, after a particular church service, I asked if he was saying my son could go to heaven without believing on Jesus and his answer was “let that sit with you!” This left me concerned the church was taking the route of universalism. After an unusual dream (it being rare for me to dream) in which the words of the pastor frightened me and which resulted in me becoming too uncomfortable to stay at the church, I left.
This was such a sad choice to make as I loved the people in the church and was involved in so much of what the church was doing. A short time later, I learned that others also left the church, after a long-standing elder was treated unfairly for questioning the pastor’s teaching.
It was not long after this that we found the current church I am in where our Senior Elder and Pastor is excellent in teaching us biblically, which leaves us more secure in God’s faithfulness. I feel God wants me to remain single, where I can be free to follow Him and be ready to go wherever He desires me to be. I have not become involved in any ministry within my church fellowship or in the wider Body and I think this is mainly because so that I am free to maybe leave suddenly, either moving back to Ireland or elsewhere, if it is God’s will for me.
Currently, I work with my daughter who is a strong believer and we both actively encourage her two young teenage children in their developing faith. We seek God’s guidance in prayer in these difficult times for teenagers and long for the blessed hope of our Lord Jesus coming for His church. This present world system is finally coming to an end and the new earth where Jesus rules from Jerusalem will soon be here. Can’t wait!!!
Within the will of God, do you have any particular hopes for the future that you can share with us?
I continuously hope and pray that God will draw those I love, who so far have refused to believe in Him; that they would actually admit they will feel very foolish when I say they will one day stand before Almighty God; that it will be too late then and that if they remain in unbelief they are destined to spend eternity in hell. My hope is that they come to know Him before that day. I also hope and pray that Jesus comes for us soon as this world is getting more evil every day and people are moving further away from acknowledging God for who He is which is very sad to watch.
Last words
Can you share a Scripture passage through which the Holy Spirit has really encouraged, strengthened or instructed you in your walk of faith in Lord Yeshua?
I would like to choose Isaiah 41:10: ‘So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God, I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.’
This Scripture reassures me of God’s promises. It reiterates how it is always about what God does and not what I do. It helps me acknowledge I can do nothing without Him but do not need to worry about this, as I can rely on Him to help me.
Finally, how can sisters in the faith of our Lord Yeshua the Messiah pray for you?
I would like prayer for boldness, wisdom and the right words to say to others that I know are not interested in a saving knowledge of God. I flounder at times to know when to speak and when to stay silent. So I ask for prayers for guidance of how and when God wants me to tell someone about Him. Thankyou
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