Acts 26:18 – “..to open their eyes, in order to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who are sanctified by faith in Me.”
The following is the testimony of Lena of England of how Almighty God worked in her life by His grace to bring her ‘from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, that [she]..receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who are sanctified by faith’ in Lord Yeshua the Messiah, Son of the living God.
Lena, roughly how long have you been saved?
It is difficult for me to say exactly how long I have been saved as I grew up in a Christian home and have been believing in Jesus Christ as long as I can remember; so, I would say I have been saved since a very early age.
In your own words, what does “saved” mean and where in the Scripture do you derive your understanding?
For me, to be saved means to be ‘justified freely by God’s grace’ (Romans 3:24) even though I have sinned and ‘fallen short of the glory of God’ (Romans 3:23). Salvation comes through the blood of Jesus Christ (Romans 3:25). Because Jesus died instead of me (Isaiah 53:4-6) I am saved from God’s wrath (Romans 5:9; 2 Corinthians 5:10+21) and reconciled with God (Romans 5:10). Therefore, to be saved means to have eternal life (Romans 6:23), to be freed from the law (Romans 7:6) and so to be able to serve God and bring forth fruit unto God (Romans 7:4+6b). All this, not because of my good works but simply by calling on the name of the LORD (Acts 2:21), confessing the Lord Jesus with my mouth and believing in my heart that God has raised Him from the dead (Romans 10:9; John 3:16).
The most amazing revelation to me is that Jesus didn’t die for me because I deserve it, but that He died for me while I was a sinner (Romans 5:8). That’s why, for me, salvation also means to be deeply loved by God. ‘Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!’ (1 John 3:1).
In your own words what is repentance and its connection with salvation?
‘For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation…’ (2 Corinthians 7:10).
Before we are saved we have to be aware that we need salvation. It is God’s Holy Spirit who draws us to Him and convicts us of our sinfulness (John 16:8-11) and need for forgiveness. Only through this conviction from the Holy Spirit can we truly repent, which means to turn back to God (‘teshuvah’ in the Hebrew Scriptures) or to change our mind (‘metanoia’ in the Greek Scriptures). Repentance means to turn away from the world and instead to turn to God, to look for and accept His will and His purpose for our lives. Only by turning to Him and letting Him change our mind, or our way of thinking (Ephesians 4:23+24), can we receive salvation: forgiveness of sin and the gift of eternal life through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Lena’s background
Can you share with us about your family background?
I was born in a very little village in Germany, raised in a Christian home and environment – for which I am very thankful. My parents were and still are strong believers who love God and His word, the Bible. They never tried to convince me of something or forced me to believe what they believed. They simply lived with God, and I could see that they truly loved God. Having heard about God from an early age and having seen His goodness in and through my parents’ lives, it seemed very natural for me to believe in God and that Jesus Christ was His Son who had died for my sins and given me eternal life.
When I look back to the time of my childhood, for example by reading old diaries, I can see that Jesus was always my best friend and the first one I would run to if something was bothering me. It comforted me to know that He was always there for me and would always listen, no matter how big or small my prayer. God was my Father and although He was in heaven, I knew with a childish intuition that through Jesus Christ He was as close as no one else could be. I could tell him things I would not tell anyone else. I could simply be true before him. I always had a strong longing for truth and understood that I could not hide anything from God and neither did I want to! It was such a relief to be able to be honest with someone knowing that I was still 100% loved.
Because my parents read their Bibles daily, I read it as well and I loved it! So often God would use His word to speak exactly into my situation. I still remember the day when my parents gave me my first real Bible – not just a children’s version but a full Bible like theirs. I must have been about nine years old. I was so happy and cherished it so much that I didn’t want to part from it and placed it under my pillow at night. I wanted God’s word to be right next to me, even while asleep. During my whole childhood God and His word were so real and so precious to me. I never doubted that there was a God. But because I was so often told that I had to make a decision for Jesus and give my life to Him, I did it again and again on many occasions, just making sure I had done it. In my heart though, I actually felt as if I had never been away from the Lord and therefore didn’t really have to make a decision for Him. One decision I had to make though was getting baptised. When I was 14 years old I realised that confessing my belief and getting baptised went hand in hand. So, I got baptised. From then on the doubt about having to give my life to God again and again was settled.
Lena’s Journey in the Faith
Having had a very secure childhood in a very Christian environment I soon had to face the reality that there was more ‘out there’ than I had heard of or seen.
When I left my ‘safe’ home and went to the city of Cologne for my studies, I suddenly felt completely uprooted. At home my parents, brothers, friends – almost everyone – had believed in God or had at least accepted my faith but here in Cologne it seemed as if no one believed in God and everyone lived just how they wanted to live. Because of my studies at a music college, I was also under constant pressure to be good enough. I was in competition with almost everyone around me which made me feel so small and incapable. It seemed like everyone else was grown up and excellent in what they did while I still felt like a little child from a little village, suddenly not knowing who I was and why I was there.
I didn’t just feel like a child in a ‘worldly way’ but also spiritually. Maybe I had only been used to drinking spiritual milk (1 Corinthians 3:2) but now realised that my faith should have matured, and I wasn’t yet able to digest what was happening around me. I was suddenly faced with the question: “What do I really believe?”
In all this I never questioned God’s existence, but I started questioning who He was and His nature. Was He really good? Really loving and righteous? From what I could see around me and how I felt, it sometimes seemed to be the opposite. Questioning who God was inevitably led to questioning who I was, and who I was in Him. I really felt uprooted for such a long time during my studies. And yet I knew that the answers to my questions and uncertainties were only to be found in God and in His word, so I continued reading the Bible, worshipping Him and going to church. And I still loved this – except that I had become very insecure and always doubting myself. Thinking about it now, I think it wasn’t so much that I struggled with who God was but more with who I was in Him. I simply couldn’t believe that I was “good enough” for Him and for the “world”’ – which mattered so much to me at that time.
As I look back on my years of studying, job training and early work, I can see that God used those years to show me my real identity in Christ. In fact, those very hard and challenging times were milestones that made my faith become more and more my own and not my parents.
God was so good and faithful. Even though at some point I had to walk through the ‘valley of the shadow of death’ (Psalm 23:4) He was with me there! He also always sent people into my life who encouraged me, be it: a good and very wise Christian friend; my brother and wife who always welcomed me into their home and in that way were like a safe place I could run to – spiritually nurturing me as well; prophecies I received from different people; or unexplainable favour with professors and managers.
One example of how God led me during a training period before I could start my job was simply a scripture from the Bible, Joshua 1:9: ‘Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.’ Before I started my training I was very afraid of the tough time ahead which I already knew would come. I felt like God impressed this scripture on my heart, but I had no idea of how important it would become for me in the following 1.5 years. It was like a lifebelt in a storm! Whenever I felt totally down, not knowing how to survive another day of madness and excessive demands, it was that exact Bible verse that somehow showed up again and again… whether in a blessing at church, in a personal prayer from someone for me or in a card sent by a friend. I would cry out to God and say, “I can’t do this anymore, I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to give up!” And God would answer: “No! Don’t give up. Have I not commanded you to be strong and courageous? I am with you! Keep going!” So I did.
I kept on going. Another day, another week, another month. But again I came to a low point, saying: “No, I want to give up. I really can’t do this anymore… God, if you want me to endure, even though you’ve shown me already so many times, I need a threefold confirmation!” That day, I came back home and found three (!) postcards of encouragement from a friend of mine who had no idea about what I had just prayed to God! So I kept on going and finally finished my training years. I can really say it was by God’s grace, not through my own strength. In fact, I learned through this what Jesus means when He says, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30). During the tough times I experienced, I so often rejected Jesus’ yoke and tried to do it my own way and therefore ended up struggling under my yoke which was so much heavier and more uncomfortable. I had to surrender again and again and admit that I only had to carry the burden and yoke Jesus gave to me: one that I could bear.
God also used those tough times to show me that I am fully dependent on Him and on His grace. Whenever under stress and pressure I acted in ways which I never thought I would. I found myself being impatient, unloving, sometimes even hateful – despite being a Christian and having walked with the Lord for years. I was shocked by my own emotions deep inside that only showed up in those tough times. I think I needed the ‘valley of the shadow of death’ to realise that I cannot be a good person just by trying to, or out of my own will; but that I have to fully rely on God, that I need to be ‘renewed in the spirit of my mind’ and to ‘put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness’ (Ephesians 4:23-24).
I learned a lot about my identity in Christ and that it only mattered what God thought about me and who I was in Him; not what the world thought, nor what those I worked with or who were friends thought. As long as I was in God’s will, I could have peace even when in the midst of a storm. I had to spiritually overcome – my fears, my pride, my own and others’ expectations. This sometimes – in a worldly sense – meant failing:
‘For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in his presence. But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: That, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.’ (1 Corinthians 1:26-31, underlined for emphasis).
From Then To Now
Since then, can you share a little bit about how the Lord Yeshua has worked in your life?
After the difficult years of my studies and the beginning of my work life, I often prayed and asked God: “What do you want me to do? Where do you want me to go or to be?” I had no real orientation. It took me time to understand that I had to learn to walk in my spiritual calling first in order to understand where to be and what work to do. Even though God had shown me before that my calling was related to Israel and prayer, I didn’t understand how important it was to live in this calling first, ahead of any natural work. I also had to realise that I needed to get a deeper understanding of my identity in Christ and my relationship with Him. Instead of asking where I should be, I needed to know where I was with Him and that He was with me! He brought me to a place of surrender where I quit my job and didn’t know what to do next. I was fully dependent on God’s guidance as I really had no idea how to go forward. I had tried so many jobs, done a whole lot of volunteering and still hadn’t found my “thing” or my “place.” In all this, God reminded me of a dream I had had three years before…
In the dream I saw two words written in Hebrew letters. I knew just enough Hebrew to be able to write the words down and look up their meaning, realising that there was an actual place in Israel with that name. But neither the meaning of the words nor the fact that it was a real place in Israel made sense to me at that time. It took me three years and many puzzle pieces being put together by God before I realised that God simply wanted me to go; to the exact place in Israel of which I had dreamed.
This was a big step of faith for me as I was on my own and didn’t know why God wanted me to go to this village in Israel. I had to trust Him, and things soon fell into place. Through someone who didn’t know about my plans to go to Israel, I was given a leaflet about two different one-week tours in Israel with a Christian group. I thought this might be a good start as after the tour I could go to the village I had dreamed of. So, I signed up for the first of the tours which had to do with prayer and worship, which are very much on my heart. At the same time I felt that I should actually choose to go on the second tour, which was about practically helping and serving the Jewish people. Since the leaflet didn’t give much information about the second tour I asked one of the organizers for more details. It turned out that – unusually, compared with other years – they were going to the exact place I had dreamed of! That’s when I knew that I should go on the second tour, so I changed the booking. God was faithful. He knew that I didn’t want to go to Israel on my own and so led me to go with a Christian group that ‘happened’ to go exactly where I needed to go. At the same time, I just knew that I had to stay longer than the one week with the group, so I asked for permission to stay four more weeks.
Together with other believers from many different nations, I simply served God’s people by cleaning and restoring buildings for Jews who had made Aliyah (immigrated to Israel). Even though most of my day was physical work, God blessed me by giving me a deeper understanding of prayer and worship that I could only get in the land of Israel and by being in contact with Jewish people and believers from all over the world. And not only that… God brought me together with an English believer who shared my heart for Israel and prayer. During my five weeks in Israel, we got to know each other much better than we would ever have been able to in ‘normal’ circumstances. After only four months we got married! We knew that God, by His grace, had brought us together for a reason, ‘for such a time as this’ (Esther 4:17).
It was all such a miracle as we could hardly have thought of meeting our future partners in such a way, him being English and me being German, meeting in Israel. We were extremely blessed! Both of us having a heart for Israel and the Jewish people, we knew that this also was the reason God brought us together. We felt led to have a year, just for us, as a newly married couple in England to see where the Lord would lead us. Almost straightaway, we found ourselves locked down in our little flat because of Covid and we literally ended up having a year of waiting on the Lord. During this year, the Lord gave us a deeper understanding of Israel and the Jewish people through sound teaching and also led us to different ministries that have a connection to Israel. Also, we found a church with the same understanding regarding Israel, for which my husband now works.
We’ve started a family of our own and are still in England. We feel that this is where we should be at the moment and hope to be good witnesses and share the gospel. As a mum, it’s not easy to have deep conversations with other mums when you have toddlers running around, but I pray that the Lord will lead me to people He wants me to talk to. Also, I sometimes think our actions can say as much as words. My hope is therefore that even when I don’t have the chance to talk to someone that the way I speak or interact with others and my children will be a witness and make them think about Jesus.
Last words
Can you share one Scripture passage through which the Holy Spirit has really encouraged, strengthened or instructed you in your walk of faith in Lord Yeshua?
As mentioned above, God has really put Joshua 1:9 on my heart: ‘Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.’ This scripture reminds me, especially in the challenging times, that there is no mountain too high to climb and no valley too deep to go through, as long as God is with me. It also teaches me to withstand any fear. Acting out of fear is never good and it is a commandment (!) of God not to be afraid. I shouldn’t feel sorry for myself or let the circumstances around me control me. I have to make a decision: Do I choose fear or courage? Do I choose to let the circumstances affect my mood and behaviour, or do I trust God and His power? I so often give in to fear and only look at my own weakness, but I need to actively decide to be strong and courageous, because the Lord my God is with me. And HE is strong. He is the Lord God Almighty (Revelation 1:8). Nothing is too difficult for Him (Jeremiah 32:17).
Finally, how can sisters in the faith of our Lord Yeshua the Messiah pray for you?
- Please pray for wisdom in how to interact and share the gospel with other mums or other people my husband and I meet.
- Please pray for wisdom in how to raise a family in these days.
- As said before, my husband and I have a heart for Israel and the Jewish people. Since the outbreak of war in Israel (October 2023) and the rising antisemitism all over the world, we have sensed how important our support for Israel and the Jewish people is as Christians. Our desire is therefore to stand with the Jewish people in ‘such a time as this’ (Esther 4:14), no matter what it costs. We want them to know this, but words are easy to say, so please pray that we would have the strength and courage to do so when it comes to it.
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